So many Thanksgivings ago, a little 6 year old girl from a small town on Long Island, tried to understand why so many people were so sad and upset on this particular day. No one was really celebrating and it seemed that all the adults around were very scared about something happening that even they weren’t able to communicate about. When people get together to chat, there are a few distinct times in our lives that we can gauge our chronological existence by these occurrences. For example, most people who are in their thirties can recall where they were when they heard the news that the space shuttle Challenger exploded. For Baby Boomers it has always been, “Where were you when JFK was killed?”

How many of us remember that this tragedy happened right around Thanksgiving 1963? I believe that there is a significance that the two experiences intertwined and intersected. I recall a few things about that time, which I will share with you but then I want to depart for just a bit and relate how John Kennedy’s death and
Thanksgiving aren’t random items and also how they changed our perspective and outlook on life for years to come. Were you aware that JFK had signed Proclamation 3560 into effect on November 4, 1963, stating that November 28, 1963 would be an official day of Thanksgiving and stated: “On that day let us gather in sanctuaries dedicated to worship and in homes blessed by family affection to express our gratitude for the glorious gifts of God; and let us earnestly and humbly pray that He will continue to guide and sustain us in the great unfinished tasks of achieving peace, justice, and understanding among all men and nations and of ending misery and suffering wherever they exist. “

Since I was in the 1st grade, someone in their wisdom at school made the decision to not tell us what had happened. Being an educator myself, I probably would have done the same thing … trying to explain why someone shot and killed our president to a group of 6 and 7 year olds is not something that should be done as an announcement. I think follow-up is necessary, but children are so black and white at that age that the fear someone would be after them (if they can kill the president, then no one is safe!) would be more than they could handle. I remember there was uneasiness when we got into our buses at Sunrise Drive Elementary school, and it puzzled me. I remember walking home to our house on Holly Drive and not seeing anyone out on the street. It was as if I was the only person on my block and perhaps the world as far as I felt.

What I wasn’t prepared for was coming in and seeing my mother crying in the middle of the day in front of the television. When I asked what had happened, why she was crying, I don’t remember if she ever told me anything. It might’ve been the old standby that so many of us use “Nothing is wrong, go play.” The memory that sticks with me is the aftermath. I remember coming home (my other siblings were still at school or en route) and watching the funeral procession. I recall being glued to the television, watching the coffin go down Pennsylvania Avenue with the rider-less horse. That’s when I remember crying and feeling so sad, mad, and confused. How did this happen? What happens to us now? Where is our President and who is our President now? How come the adults didn’t stop this from happening?

I’m sure if you were alive then and were over the age of 3 (maybe some of you younger ones have a memory of it too??) you have your own memories and questions. What was so difficult was after this sudden, shocking and sad news…we were supposed to get together with our families, stuff ourselves silly and watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. And yet…when I think about this…that was exactly what we needed to do. Get with our families, console each other, send prayers/good wishes/blessings to Jackie and her children, stuff ourselves silly and get mindless in watching Santa Claus wave to us all at the end of the parade.

So, you probably have figured out by now what is next. Thanksgiving…giving Thanks for all we have, and for some of us this year…it might be just our family…no matter its composition. Some years we might have plenty to eat, plenty of family surrounding us…other years it may be different. But I encourage everyone this Thanksgiving…to take out some time to reflect and find one or two things that you are really thankful for…there is always something, no matter how small it might seem. It could be seeing a smile, watching a beautiful sunset or a hawk swoop down to make its catch. Whatever it is…let us at least be thankful that we are living in our country. It might have some growing still to do, we might not always agree, some of us might even think we are doing things wrong…but that’s what happens in families, isn’t it? We don’t always see things the same way…how could we when we have different perspectives…but we all live in the same “house” and we have much to be thankful for…if we just take some time to look for it.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving 2009!